Of words and vibes

  A trip to the heart of my origins. To the seas and sands that my  ancestors traversed. Uvari, a quaint little seaside town is in the Southern most part of the Indian peninsula. The Tirunelveli, Nagarcoil,  Kanyakumari, belt is the home of my ancestors. As I travel across these eternal landscapes that have survived battles, conquests, natural forces including the tsunami of 2004, I travel across time and imagine my predecessors from generations of yore, walking these very beaches, laughing, talking, falling in love, raising children, earning a living and finally becoming a part of the wind, the waters and the sands. Have they disappeared in the sands of time, I wonder? No. They are alive, thriving in my genes. I am them. And they are me.  I am filled with awe at the eternity of nature and the beauteous nature of His creation.  Over here is the Kapaal Matha Koil, a church dedicated to Mother Mary which is steeped in religious lore and the fishing boats parked across pristine waters on

Once again, I have tried to speak my truth. Take a look at a few simple lessons that the pandemic taught me. Published in December 2020 issue of the Together magazine. Click here to read my article in the Together magazine The Tiny Little Lessons that a Mighty Pandemic Taught Me     March 17, 2020. Just another regular, uneventful day. I get up, get dressed and trudge through work. I return home early because there are these uneasy murmurs of the distant Corona virus from China looming around the corridors of Bengaluru.   On my way home, the auto driver was talkative and prophetic. He said something about Modiji closing down the country which I hardly paid attention to. I was browsing through my phone. He even told me that the Corona virus was bio-war. He said this with a lot of conviction that I almost believed his conspiracy theory. For my part, I said that one has to wash one’s hands for fifteen minutes to get rid of the virus! Of course, that was incorrect but well-meaning ad

 

 

 

 I spend a day alone. In quiet reflection. But again, it’s not quite quiet. There’s me and my cesspool of emotions. Turbulent. Rocky. Choppy. Like a sea on tide. I’m trying to ride the swirling ebb and flow. Abysmal despair alternates reams of hope Like a lone oarsman caught amidst raging waters I glide and slide. Uneasily. Visions from the past; Stories wrapped in wreaths of pain That seemed long dead and gone, Rise above from deep inside. Like a tsunami Brutal and destructive. I let it take hold. I let the emotions flow. Wild. Feral. Untamed. Seeping through my very being. While I lay still. Very still. Waiting patiently. For the waters to reside. For calm to reign. For healing to begin.

I smile. I laugh. I joke. I read. I work. It’s all good. It’s all normal. On the outside. The insides are another story. Hidden beneath, in the interstices of my heart. Is the pain. Gut-wrenching. Ruthlessly pecking away at my very core. Like an insect on a deep red flower. Sucking the nectar of joy from my life. My mind in a constant rewind mode. Replaying every hurt. Crying pain. Searing pain. Longing pain. Hurting again and again. A pain that I want to wish away. No way! It is a pain that is as much a part of me As the blood seeping down my veins.  Withdrawal from love is painful on the inside. While it's a perfectly normal day on the outside.